What do you see….

We all look st things from a different perspective, because we are observing from a different place or space.

I am looking out at the sea, appreciating the calmness of the waves, the beauty of the rhythm in which it moves towards me, then away from me, gently. I love the sound so calming.

I admire the beauty of the colours I can see in the sea. The sounds I can hear,

If I were in a plane I would have a different view. Seeing a vast ocean with clouds moving in the way, I do not see the movement as I am so high up, it seems still not moving, all one colour. Mysterious and cold.

If I was a bird flying over the sea, I would have a different view. Seeing the foam of the waves bubbling as I fly over. The occasional fish jumping out of the sea, the dolphins playing in the waves just below the surface. Being aware of the direction of the wind, and having to adjust my wings or direction.

If I were a fish, swimming deep beneath the sea i imagine it would be calm, no noise, colourful, the sea bed with sand and plants floating in the sea bed. Crabs, starfish and other creatures all in the same environment.

As you can appreciate everything and everyone will not see things the same way as you do.

We must appreciate differences in other peoples opinion, as their view is not always seen from your view! Sometimes from your vantage point things or situations may seem confusing, alarming, or worrisome. Or there may be events that look insignificant from where you are standing right now.

Be appreciative of how others are seeing and feeling in the same moment you are.

Jump in the sea, dive deep down experience what the fishes would. Go up in a small plan and experience what the birds would. It is these experiences that gives us a broader perspective. That is the beauty of life.

Knowing What You Want

Not all of us know what we want out of life. Some of us are blessed at an early age to know where we are going, to understand our purpose. For those like me who only discovered that they have a purpose, this post is really for you.

     Steps to understand what you don’t want 

So the first thing I did, was to get a piece of paper and write down everything that I did not want in my life.  I was being very detailed and very specific   

 I did not want lack of money, I did not want negativity, I did not want anyone  who were self-centred, I did not want the job that I was currently in. If you get the drift,  these are the things that I did not want in my life. 

So, it took me awhile to really write down everything I did not want in my life, and then I re-read through everything I had  written.  Some of it really shocked me, because I was so in the flow that I was just writing everything down I was dumping on the sheet.   After I finish though I felt a huge weight lifted from me, I felt relieved.  

 So I would encourage you to do the same. 

 Steps to understand what it is you do you want 

So now feeling empty, and light at the same time and then I’ll begin to think of the things I did want.

 So I did a similar exercise I got a piece of paper  and I just started to gdt in the flow  and write down everything I wanted in my life.  A Beautiful house, the holidays, being financially free to be able to go anywhere and do what I wanted, what my kids and my friends wanted, and give back to those who needed support from society. I dreamt of outrageous things and I put them down on paper. 

 At the time, I did not have a special person in my life, so I put down what I wanted in that special person and I also asked for a sign so that if he was presented to me I would know it was him that I was looking for.

 I made sure I was specific in my request .   And do you know just three months later after writing that information down I met my life partner who I’ve now been with for the last nine years.  

My life Partner

The secret to knowing what you want, is being clear on knowing what you do not want.

To help me achieve my dreams and my goals, I created a Vision Board, where I found the things that I wanted visually in magazines or online, and then I cut them out or made a picture of them and put them in a picture frame where I could see them every day . This helped with ensuring I get my vision and my goals

You have to be clear and specific on what you do want and to feel like you already have it, visualise it, dream about it, talk about it as if it is already here. Think in the NOW!

Life is not meant to be perfect, but you can enjoy it just the same if you know how to get what you want.

Don’t Hold Onto Your Past… It’s not Worth It!

I have faced many disappointments in life, and I’m sure I will not be the last person to do so.

I have faced disappointment from my career, not being able to progress in the direction I would have wanted. Being held back deliberately by Others in establishment.

I have been let down massively in love and relationships.

I have been let down in friendship and trust.

I could go on.

You see the events we go through in our lives are lessons. They help to strengthen you, to build up you knowledge base, to prepare you for the next level of your life’s journey.

You were born to be resilient.

You survived creation to become you the individual! You survived child birth, childhood, kid adult hood, adult hood to be where you are today.

Your journey in life is unique to you, but areas of your journey will help others walk a safer path, tried and tested path because you have already walked it and came through to share the experience.

Holding onto painful experiences, can poison the mind. It will become a wound that never heals. Negative vibes are not easy to get rid of. You will find that more negativity will come through the people that you meet, through more negative events and situations that comes towards you, until you feel that you are surrounded and sinking with the despair of how will you ever get through.

Negativity will begin to mess with your health, your body will react through a build up of stress, inflammation and illness.

Your mind and mental wellness will suffer, not trusting anyone, being paranoid. Feelings of self worth and self confidence disappears with negative thinking and pain.

So, is it worth hanging on to?

You see when you are going through situations, you may not see a way out. Look for lessons in life, look for the good things in the midst of bad. Move away from the negativity.

Find positive people, put yourself in feelgood situations deliberately. Develop your self confidence and love you first and foremost.

You see when you ultimately love yourself, no one can make you feel bad.

Persistence- A lesson learned from a five-year-old !

I happened to be blessed with two gorgeous grandsons, aged 5 and 26 months old.   They bring with them so much joy and lots of fun.  I continuously find myself observing and learning from them.  I read somewhere that you should sit and observe OLD people and babies.   My life experience so far has allowed me to do this with some amazing insights.

I am constantly amazed at how much their little brain is soaking up at this young age, and makes me wish my old brain was as reactive and had the capacity to learn as theirs.  Their innocence of how simple life is, really is something as adults we should take on board. As we get older, we make life complicated for no reason.  It really can be as simple as how a child sees it.

I watch how the five year old patiently teaches himself to learn Russian, and is now able to write the alphabet and recite it… no one in my family can speak the language, yet he managed this himself.  Admittingly the new age digital era has alot to do with this.  However, he has taught me that nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it.  I have known this, of course, but seeing a five year old develop his skillset so quickly to learn how to speak and write a foreign languague unaided is on another level totally.

SO here are my takeaways from all my observations:

  • Be Persistant and focussed – do not get distracted and taken away from your task
  • Be Consistent – he practices in every way he can, through writing on an ipad, to writing on paper, to writing on a magnetic board
  • Be Patient  and reward yourself when you have got it right
  • Learn something new every day
  • Teach someone what you have learned so that it enforces what you have learned, but makes you look like the expert.
  • Have fun doing what you are learning, it sinks in easier.

I will share my insights from my elders in another post, but for now hope you enjoyed the above, short but brief insight…. let me know if you have learned anything from young people in the comments below….






Finding and Defining My PurposeAnd How You Can Too

I have just been listening to a short extract from Bishop TD Jakes, and he talks about Finding Yourself.

Bishop TD Jakes said we are all here for a purpose, and if you care for a person with Dementia right now, that is your special purpose, if you are looking after a child with downsyndrome, or autism, that is your purpose, if you are going through Cancer right now, again that is your purpose.  You have been chosen to deal with the situation you are in because you have the skills to deal with it, sometimes you just don’t know that you have.  You may think the situation is too much and become exasporated , but know this,  GOD will not give you more than you can bear.  Deep….

That is so, true. 

I have gone through being the one to look after a person with Dementia, I have gone through a marriage break up, I have gone through realtionships breaking down, I have gone through health challenges,  I have gone through financial challenges, we all do at some point in our life go through challenges.  But know that this is what they are, challenges.

At the time we are going through our tribulations and trials, we may cry and curse and say why me…. but know this, ultimately YOU were chosen, remember  it is not about you, it is about who you can serve, who you can help in the overall bigger picture, once you get through, because ultimately you will get through,  it is just a matter of time.   What I have learnt in my life so far is that it is never about us, but when we are going through the storm, we can only think about us….

We do not know sometimes, what our friends or co-workers or colleagues are truly going through in their lives, we do not know the demons they are battling, or the strain or stress that they are going through.  Often the ones who smile at you, and listen and encourage, are those who are going through the darkest times.  I know because this was me….

 Let me get personal and let you into my world for a bit….

When my Mother (God rest her soul) was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia, I thought WHY ME….. I was so selfish. I was thinking about myself, how at the age of 48, I had just began to get my life back, get used to having a social life again, begin dating again, as my kids were now grown up young men, and I could live life without worrying about baby sitters, when I was told the news of my mother. 

For me, from the age of 20 when I left home, I was a carer – looking after a boyfriend, later Husband, then Children, to after 20 or so years being free for a few short months, then being a carer again for my Mother.

However after getting over that part of my life, I reflected on the timing of all this, and came to the conclusion, I was meant to look after my mum, I had the empathy, the patience, the love to care for her no matter what.  Because, if she had been diagnosed when my Father was alive, he would not have been able to cope with looking after her.  He did not have the empathy, or patience, or even maybe the understanding of what her illness would entail. So it was left to be my purpose.  What I learned from looking after my Mother with Dementia has truly changed me as a person. It has also changed most of my family who were there to experience it first hand. 

I have gained so much more patience and perseverence and understanding, it has made me more aware of other peoples view points and circumstances, because for a person with Dementia, normal every life can be so frightful and confusing.  What may seem normal to us, is strange and out of place for someone with Dementia.

What can seem weird to us, is actually normal in the eyes of someone with dementia, because they slowly lose the concept of ‘things’ everyday tasks such as washing, dressing, sleeping and eating. Things we take for granted! I learned to look throuigh another person’s eyes, asking questions and listening to their answers, trying to get into their world.  All this was the outcome of looking after my Mother with Vascular Dementia.

The whole experience of going through looking after my Mother was a life lesson for me. What started as looking like a ‘curse’ ended up as me being eternally gratefully that it was a responsiblity that was given to me. It has helped me in my personal and professional life to learn more about individuals, making contact and building trust and relationships. To cherish what you have NOW, to appreciate the relationships you have and build peaceful lasting ones.

So each of us has a purpose, that will lead to to other things you are not currently doing or even think of right now, for some it may take time to find, but in finding your purpose can lead to much more….

So I want to ask you what lessons have you learned from going through trails and tribulations in your life?

Did you find that they helped you and others like you?