It took me nearly 5 years to find out who I was, after going through a relationship breakdown. Many of us go through life without really understanding who we are, what we like, what we don’t like, and where we want to be in life.
I went from being a teenager living at home, daughter and big sister, to being a partner, moving in with my then boyfriend who later became my husband. Then became a mother and in all of this time didn’t really have time to find me.
So when I went through my relationship breakdown, I took some time out to try and find me, to try and find you the real me was not this person who was mother daughter, sister, friend.
To hear some tips I hope you find useful because it the stages really did help me to find myself and I hope they will help you too.
1. Love yourself
when you truly love yourself, no one will ever hurt your spirit or the real you again. Learn to love who you truly are. Ask your family and friends what they feel are your best qualities, you’ll be surprised what they put out and send back to you.
Begin to value yourself, you have a lot to give not only to yourself but to those around you.
Look deep within and ask yourself the following:
What are my favourite foods, colours, music?
What don’t I like in a person? Do I have any of these qualities? How can I make a change to remove them?
What do I like in a person? Do I have these qualities myself?
What am I passionate about in life?
What would I like to change in my life/ about myself?
What are my strengths? You might want to ask your friends and family about this one.
What are my weaknesses.
What is the best thing I like about me?
When you can truly answer all of these questions you have a better picture of who you are. You will begin to see who your authentic self is, you begin to have peace within yourself knowing that no one can take away the essence of who you are
2. Be Selfish
I found this one really hard to do, because I am a selfless person and I love to help people sometimes to my own detriment. There is a time where you need to be selfish. You need to put yourself first. When you realise that your own mental health is more important than trying to support someone else you will begin to understand the selfishness to keep you sane and keep you healthy.
When was the last time you treated yourself?
Say no to people, Saying no does not mean you’re mean person. And you should never feel guilty either. This I found really hard to do, but eventually if you explain to people why you cannot take certain things on they do understand and no they don’t shoot you down for it.
3. Dream Again
You may have had dreams at the start of a relationship, but for whatever reason those dreams got batted down or simply got put away. Now is the time to bring them back up again. I found using a vision board really useful if you’re not sure what a vision board is you can google and find out. Basically cut out the things that you want in life and this could be pictures that represent what you want out of life if it’s a loving relationship find a Picture of a couple in love, if you’d like to go on a cruise where would you like to go? If you want a new car, what car, what colour, what interior, if you wanna go on holiday where do you want to go? Get the picture? No dream is to bake, but don’t dream small because you’ll be disappointed if you get them.
4. Surround yourself with positive people
If you find yourself surrounded by friends who are always moaning and complaining, this isn’t going to help you. You need to be around people who are forwardthinking, positive thinking, and who want to do more be more have more in life. This really motivated me and one of the reasons why joining a network marketing company can help you with the positivity around you. No I’m not advocating this for everyone these are my thoughts.
You can join meet up groups that are local to you, and there is a meet up group for every single type of activity you can think of.
Don’t be shy to start conversations with new people, you never know you may meet this way and the people that you talk could be your gateway to your next opportunity.
5. Re-connect with your inner spiritual self
When you have an attitude of gratitude you will start to see things differently.
For me I found keeping a journal really helped, I wrote down all my thoughts and my feelings on a day-to-day basis, along with all the things that I was grateful for. Your core being is your stabiliser physically, emotionally and mentally and you need to reconnect with that, this can be done through meditation, through yoga through prayer.
Find a way to help yourself destress, to help you be at peace. Listening to music, going for long walks, yoga, anything to relax the mind. So these are some of the things I initially did to help get me back on track. Throughout my blog I will be sharing more so keep tuning in, and do let me know what you have found useful.
Love to hear from you!