Finding and Defining My PurposeAnd How You Can Too

I have just been listening to a short extract from Bishop TD Jakes, and he talks about Finding Yourself.

Bishop TD Jakes said we are all here for a purpose, and if you care for a person with Dementia right now, that is your special purpose, if you are looking after a child with downsyndrome, or autism, that is your purpose, if you are going through Cancer right now, again that is your purpose.  You have been chosen to deal with the situation you are in because you have the skills to deal with it, sometimes you just don’t know that you have.  You may think the situation is too much and become exasporated , but know this,  GOD will not give you more than you can bear.  Deep….

That is so, true. 

I have gone through being the one to look after a person with Dementia, I have gone through a marriage break up, I have gone through realtionships breaking down, I have gone through health challenges,  I have gone through financial challenges, we all do at some point in our life go through challenges.  But know that this is what they are, challenges.

At the time we are going through our tribulations and trials, we may cry and curse and say why me…. but know this, ultimately YOU were chosen, remember  it is not about you, it is about who you can serve, who you can help in the overall bigger picture, once you get through, because ultimately you will get through,  it is just a matter of time.   What I have learnt in my life so far is that it is never about us, but when we are going through the storm, we can only think about us….

We do not know sometimes, what our friends or co-workers or colleagues are truly going through in their lives, we do not know the demons they are battling, or the strain or stress that they are going through.  Often the ones who smile at you, and listen and encourage, are those who are going through the darkest times.  I know because this was me….

 Let me get personal and let you into my world for a bit….

When my Mother (God rest her soul) was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia, I thought WHY ME….. I was so selfish. I was thinking about myself, how at the age of 48, I had just began to get my life back, get used to having a social life again, begin dating again, as my kids were now grown up young men, and I could live life without worrying about baby sitters, when I was told the news of my mother. 

For me, from the age of 20 when I left home, I was a carer – looking after a boyfriend, later Husband, then Children, to after 20 or so years being free for a few short months, then being a carer again for my Mother.

However after getting over that part of my life, I reflected on the timing of all this, and came to the conclusion, I was meant to look after my mum, I had the empathy, the patience, the love to care for her no matter what.  Because, if she had been diagnosed when my Father was alive, he would not have been able to cope with looking after her.  He did not have the empathy, or patience, or even maybe the understanding of what her illness would entail. So it was left to be my purpose.  What I learned from looking after my Mother with Dementia has truly changed me as a person. It has also changed most of my family who were there to experience it first hand. 

I have gained so much more patience and perseverence and understanding, it has made me more aware of other peoples view points and circumstances, because for a person with Dementia, normal every life can be so frightful and confusing.  What may seem normal to us, is strange and out of place for someone with Dementia.

What can seem weird to us, is actually normal in the eyes of someone with dementia, because they slowly lose the concept of ‘things’ everyday tasks such as washing, dressing, sleeping and eating. Things we take for granted! I learned to look throuigh another person’s eyes, asking questions and listening to their answers, trying to get into their world.  All this was the outcome of looking after my Mother with Vascular Dementia.

The whole experience of going through looking after my Mother was a life lesson for me. What started as looking like a ‘curse’ ended up as me being eternally gratefully that it was a responsiblity that was given to me. It has helped me in my personal and professional life to learn more about individuals, making contact and building trust and relationships. To cherish what you have NOW, to appreciate the relationships you have and build peaceful lasting ones.

So each of us has a purpose, that will lead to to other things you are not currently doing or even think of right now, for some it may take time to find, but in finding your purpose can lead to much more….

So I want to ask you what lessons have you learned from going through trails and tribulations in your life?

Did you find that they helped you and others like you?

 

 

Being Vulnerable is a Strength..

Today I want to talk about vulnerability.

Vulnerability comes from the Latin word for “wound,” vulnus. 

Most people think that being vulnerable is a weakness. Whilst you are feeling vulnerable this may be the case, but exposing your vulnerability in the right arena does help you to develop strength within.

Wounds heal.  – Colette Morris

Being vulnerable and sharing your vulnerability to others shows that you are being your authentic self, you are human, that you do have flaws.

The quote below is from the author Brené Brown – Rising to the top. It sums up really well what vulnerability is and isn’t.

For me becoming suddenly a single mother, home owner and responsible for my children’s futureI felt very vulnerable in many areas. Financially, I just didn’t have the resource available right away to help put food on the table and keep the roof over my head. Mentally, I wasn’t prepared for the stress and the strain of being a single parent with financial burdens and the future of my children at hand, but to stop my feeling this way I soon made these weaknesses a strength, it wasn’t easy, nothing ever is. I was lucky to have the support of friends and family, good mentors and business coaches to help me work things through.

Being vulnerable is not just on a personal relationship level, it can also be on a business level.  As a leader, being vulnerable is something that can be in several areas.   As a Manager, you may feel vulnerable whenever you have to talk to a co worker about their performance, or lateness or attendence levels, it can be difficult to approach, and it either is handled firmly, or sensitively depending on the circumstance.  Those are the vulnerability points within that role.

Business leaders make decisions that may open them up to being vulnerable daily, whether it is gently letting a buyer down, or making a decision about the future of the company which may affect the employees.

Some may argue that they cannot afford to be vulnerable, but there is vulnerability in everything, a decision, a circumstance or situation sometimes not in your control.

If you are feeling vulnerable right now, then seek help, talk to someone who you can trust who can help support you through mentoring, finance, advice and importantly help yourself to heal your own wounds, don’t rely on a Band-Aid to fix things, it does take time. Have faith and move forward with strength.

Is Your Imagination Holding You Back?

Bob Proctor also appeared on the Secret Movie by Rhonda Bryne, and he has been practising the Law of Attraction for many many years now.  Here are his thoughts on why so many of us are held back by our thoughts.

If you struggling to see where you are going, struggling to find purpose then watch this short video to help kick start your journey.

It was by studying the Law of Attraction, watching The Secret, reading the Secret and subsequent Law of Attraction books that helped me find myself and helped me to grow spiritually, mentally and develop a mindset of endurance and less resistance to situations happening around me. 

I began to look for the opportunities, and without fail they came.  When I lost sight of my inner consciousness and self, the opportunities dissappeared.  I have and am still learning, that you have to be consistent with your actions, and your thoughts on what you want in order to achieve what you want.

Let me know your thoughts….

 


Colette Morris will use the information you provide on this form to be in touch with you and to provide updates and marketing. You can change your mind at any time by clicking the unsubscribe link in the footer of any email you receive from us, or by contacting us at Colette.healthcoach@gmail.com. We will treat your information with respect. For more information about our privacy practices please visit our website. By clicking below, you agree that we may process your information in accordance with these terms.

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These 3 Sentences Will Change Your Life

Lisa Nichols appeared on The Secret, and is a revered motivational speaker. She suffered abuse at the hands of a partner, almost died and managed the strength to walk away.

Her book NO MATTER WHAT helped me through the toughest times of my life with its positivity and instrutions on how to create a world you want to be in.

 


Colette Morris will use the information you provide on this form to be in touch with you and to provide updates and marketing. You can change your mind at any time by clicking the unsubscribe link in the footer of any email you receive from us, or by contacting us at Colette.healthcoach@gmail.com. We will treat your information with respect. For more information about our privacy practices please visit our website. By clicking below, you agree that we may process your information in accordance with these terms.

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6 Tips To Get Out Of The Rut Financially

We all get stuck financially sometimes, but what can you do to get yourself out of a rut, especially one where money is involved. 

I was a single mother with 2 children, a mortgage I could just about afford, and a job that didnt pay me enough.  In the early days here are some of the things I did to help me get through the financial maze. 
It was one of the things that got me anxious about whether I was able to be a good parent, if I couldnt keep the roof over my children’s head. 
I was also looking at ways I could earn extra money, but stay at home to be around them. 
It is a very stressful and worrying time to have a lack of money to do the basics like pay bills, and purchase food.  Here I was in that situation, as my back was against the wall a few times.  I was just too stubborn and proud to ask for help. 

1. Get Help from a professional

If you are struggling with your finances, now is a good time to get a review done of your outgoings and income.  Having a new fresh pair of eyes on the situation can help you save where possibly you can see.  If you have a friend who you can trust, or go along to the bank, the staff there are happy to help you review your finances.
Wise up with your finances.  A great resource for me was Smart Women Finish Rich – David Bach a trusted financial expert.  You can go to his site Davidbach.com for some great tips on finance. 

2. Review / Reduce your outgoings

This is something I had to do when I lost a big chunk of income in my life.  I found going through my statements a really good way to see what I was spending money on.  It helped me to cut down on direct debits I ‘forgot’ about, the old gym membership that was ticking away each month, but I was not utilising it, other direct debits I totally forgot and for which they were not adding any value.  Reduced my Sky packages, and reviewed my telephone line deals, mobile deals, insurance deals.  I really started looking at all the ways I could save money and reduce my outgoings.

3. Put Savings Plan in Place

It doesnt matter how small your savings plan is, start by putting one in place now, even if it is £10 a week.   You can increase thisd when you get more income, but having something put down as a rainy day helps.  You can find some great savings plans online, just make sure you do the research. 

4. Look at your debt

When I looked over my 3 credit cards, and the size of the minimum repayments, this freeked me out. 
I took advice from the Money Supermarket site and looked at the credit card that had the highest interest rate, and began to include additional payments to pay this off first.
With the other two cards, I just kept paying the minimum amount (pro tip: set this up as a standing order so that you dont get charged for missed payments) on them until I paid off the card that had the highest interest rate. 
Once card 1, was paid off (took me 18 months), then I looked at the next highest interest rate and paid the same amount I was paying for the previous card  plus a bit extra to repay the second card down, this one I managed to reduce within 8 months. 
The final card I had more money due to not paying for the two previous cards, so this one I paid off quickly.
You can also call your card holders and negotiate a payment plan with them while you pay off for the other cards.  You can find out more by visiting here   www.moneysupermarket.com

5. Review Your Job Situation

If your current job is not paying you enough, then it it time to look for one that will.  Too often we under value ourselves, and our abilities. I know I did, until I was forced to upgrade due to ‘needing more’
I looked at my current skill set, and reviwed my Resume.  I then applied for other higher paid jobs, and ensured I upskilled myself at the same time.  I went into interviews with an air of confidence about me, and yes I got a higher paid job, which helped considerably. 

6. Look at Creating a Plan B

I didnt have a Plan B for if my partner suddenly walked out, that I could live independently without the salary. 
So, I quickly realised that I needed to put a Plan B in place. 
I was looking around to see what I could do to build residual income on the side, without jeopardising my full time job and this is where Network Marketing came into my live.
There are not too many areas that can generate residual income for you outside of
a) becoming an author (publishing rights)
b) becoming a produced of music (music publishing rights)
c) becoming a play right etc… you get the drift
Yes they all receive royalty  for writing, producing something ONCE, and if it is played, read, sold, they get paid over and over again.  That is residual income!

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Colette Morris will use the information you provide on this form to be in touch with you and to provide updates and marketing. You can change your mind at any time by clicking the unsubscribe link in the footer of any email you receive from us, or by contacting us at Colette.healthcoach@gmail.com. We will treat your information with respect. For more information about our privacy practices please visit our website. By clicking below, you agree that we may process your information in accordance with these terms.

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