5 Tips To Help You Find You..

 

It took me nearly 5 years to find out who I was, after going through a relationship breakdown. Many of us go through life without really understanding who we are, what we like, what we don’t like, and where we want to be in life.

I went from being a teenager living at home, daughter and big sister, to being a partner, moving in with my then boyfriend who later became my husband. Then became a mother and in all of this time didn’t really have time to find me.

Sounds familiar?

So when I went through my relationship breakdown, I took some time out to try and find me, to try and find you the real me was not this person who was mother daughter, sister, friend.

To hear some tips I hope you find useful because it the stages really did help me to find myself and I hope they will help you too.

1. Love yourself

when you truly love yourself, no one will ever hurt your spirit or the real you again. Learn to love who you truly are. Ask your family and friends what they feel are your best qualities, you’ll be surprised what they put out and send back to you.

Begin to value yourself, you have a lot to give not only to yourself but to those around you.

Look deep within and ask yourself the following:

What are my favourite foods, colours, music?

What don’t I like in a person? Do I have any of these qualities? How can I make a change to remove them?

What do I like in a person? Do I have these qualities myself?

What am I passionate about in life?

What would I like to change in my life/ about myself?

What are my strengths? You might want to ask your friends and family about this one.

What are my weaknesses.

What is the best thing I like about me?

When you can truly answer all of these questions you have a better picture of who you are. You will begin to see who your authentic self is, you begin to have peace within yourself knowing that no one can take away the essence of who you are

2. Be Selfish

I found this one really hard to do, because I am a selfless person and I love to help people sometimes to my own detriment. There is a time where you need to be selfish. You need to put yourself first. When you realise that your own mental health is more important than trying to support someone else you will begin to understand the selfishness to keep you sane and keep you healthy.

When was the last time you treated yourself?

Say no to people, Saying no does not mean you’re mean person. And you should never feel guilty either. This I found really hard to do, but eventually if you explain to people why you cannot take certain things on they do understand and no they don’t shoot you down for it.

3. Dream Again

You may have had dreams at the start of a relationship, but for whatever reason those dreams got batted down or simply got put away. Now is the time to bring them back up again. I found using a vision board really useful if you’re not sure what a vision board is you can google and find out. Basically cut out the things that you want in life and this could be pictures that represent what you want out of life if it’s a loving relationship find a Picture of a couple in love, if you’d like to go on a cruise where would you like to go? If you want a new car, what car, what colour, what interior, if you wanna go on holiday where do you want to go? Get the picture? No dream is to bake, but don’t dream small because you’ll be disappointed if you get them.

4. Surround yourself with positive people

If you find yourself surrounded by friends who are always moaning and complaining, this isn’t going to help you. You need to be around people who are forwardthinking, positive thinking, and who want to do more be more have more in life. This really motivated me and one of the reasons why joining a network marketing company can help you with the positivity around you. No I’m not advocating this for everyone these are my thoughts.

You can join meet up groups that are local to you, and there is a meet up group for every single type of activity you can think of.

Don’t be shy to start conversations with new people, you never know you may meet this way and the people that you talk could be your gateway to your next opportunity.

5. Re-connect with your inner spiritual self

When you have an attitude of gratitude you will start to see things differently.

For me I found keeping a journal really helped, I wrote down all my thoughts and my feelings on a day-to-day basis, along with all the things that I was grateful for. Your core being is your stabiliser physically, emotionally and mentally and you need to reconnect with that, this can be done through meditation, through yoga through prayer.

Find a way to help yourself destress, to help you be at peace. Listening to music, going for long walks, yoga, anything to relax the mind. So these are some of the things I initially did to help get me back on track.  Throughout my blog I will be sharing more so keep tuning in, and do let me know what you have found useful. 

Love to hear from you!

 


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How Music Helped Me To Remain Positive And Upbeat

SO there were days when I felt so low, lack of energy, lack of self esteem and felt really crap.  This was shortly after my marriage broke down.  I won’t go into details, but if any of you have faced a relationship breakdown, you know how bad it can get.

dare to dreamYou stop caring for yourself, you stop worying about eating properly, if you bother to feed yourself at all! You stop worrying about your appearance, just about keeping it down to get to work and back.  You work on automatic, getting the kids ready for school, doing the washing, ironing, homework with them and all of that, but for yourself, you don’t make time, make time to discovrer you again.  That is what I had to do, make time to discover me again.

I questioned my whole being, why was I here? I must have a purpose in life, what was it? Who am I, who is the real Colette Morris?

I was daughter, sister, girfriend, lover, wife, mother, aunt but  who was Colette? What did she like? what didn’t she like? What was her favourite colour, music, foods?

Yes I went in deep, it took me 5 years after my seperation to find the real me, the real person, the Colette I was and wanted to be, not the one who others expected me to be. Music helped me throughout all that time, it made me stronger, made me live again, made me more positive and helped me see light at the end of a dark tunnel. Previous studies have found that music therapy is a promising additional treatment for depression.

Depression is usually treated with medication and psychiatric counselling. But I didn’t want to go down that route, I felt I was strong enough to resist and find my own way. Hence the start of a journey which has strengthened me and led me in the direction of my purpose. Led me to opportunities that have moved my life forward.

Now being a single mother with two young boys, I had to be their rock, and show one face.  The face of resilience, and reassurance give them the feeling of stability and safety like all mothers try to do, making them feel  that everything will be alright in the words of Bob Marley 

Even if inside my world the walls were crumbling and I felt not in control.  So, when I had those days that I didn’t believe enough in myself, I listened to uplifting music, this ranged from Bob Marley and his positive vibes of ‘Dont’ Worry’, to gospel tracks, and my favourite was Sounds of Blackness – I’m going all the way

I soon made a list of music that inspired and uplifted me, that my spirit jumped to,  this helped my mind shift from a depressive state into a more positive and responsive state.  During those moments, I began getting back my awesome!  I began to dream of my new life, of what I wanted to be, do and have going forward.

When I understood what was important to me, my WHY for carrying on, it helped with putting dreams and goals back into my life.

There are also natural herbs that can help with depression, and one such herb exists in SOUL that is Black Cumin Seed  

Black seed or Black Cumin Seed has been used to treat anxiety in the herbal realm.  But did you know that Black seed has been used for thousands of years, throughout Egypt, Greece, and China.  It has so many benefits  and has been known to fight cancer and infections, restore hair loss, improve the condition of your skin, and provide so many other health benefits.  If you want to improve your mood, help your body fight against disease, and significantly reduce your level of anxiety, then you need to get familiar with black seed oil. Try using SOUL which contains black cumin seed and other potent seed nutritional extracts.

So for me, Music was one way, self development and moving in different circles also helped, but those are posts for another day!

Have you found music to help you with your moods, whether to calm you down, or to shift from one state into another?  Let me know.

Study for Music and Depression

Fish For A Healthy Mind

I love eating fish, and fish is exceptionally good for the mind as it is high in omega fish oils. It has become a bit of a routine especially in this hot weather that we are enjoying here in the UK , to just simply put fish under the grill or on the barbecue and eating it within 20 minutes.

A diet rich in oily fish has a direct impact on your mood. It is widely believed that omega-3 fats help to increase the “grey matter” you have in your brain, and a diet rich in oily fish helps the brain actually grow. The so-called “grey matter” has a direct effect on your mood and the old fashioned term “brain food” is seemingly true when referring to fish.

Women going through the transitional phase of menopause are often affected by numerous signs and symptoms. One of these symptoms is depression, and dealing with it is tough. Depression usually includes, or is a result of, anxiety, low sex drive, and fatigue. Now, we all feel down in the dumps at some point during our lives, however there are foods that can stimulate the mind and may help us overcome this feeling, fish being one of them.

If however you don’t like fish, then you can take omega 3,6,12 tablets instead, but Studies have shown that tablet form does not easily absorbed into the body and therefore is not as affective as most people would like to think.

Or you could look at our seed nutrition supplement RAIN SOUL which delivers omega 3 and 6 in a more absorbable way so that your body will get much more benefit.

Another reason for eating fish is that not only is it easy to do, but it’s very low in calories high in protein has lots of good fats and is much easier to digest than heavy meats.

If you look good on the outside you feel good on the inside, you have to work at yourself both inside and out. You cannot do one without the other.

Changing your eating habits, eating healthier or have both positive effect on your mind and on your body so make that decision to take a step in the right direction and make a change today.

I wanted to share one of my favourite fish with you. It’s in the photo sea bream closely followed by sea bass – what’s your favourite?

My weightloss and Menopause

Ever since I turned 50 I have struggled to lose weight. I’ve never had this problem before in my younger years I was able to drop the weight quite quickly that I put on. This was because I guess my metabolism was a lot faster, and I was probably a lot more active than I am now.

It doesn’t actually help that I’m going through the menopausal stages. Boy are these hot flashes taken their toll on my body 😆

So I’ve been trying all sorts of diets, low-fat, low carbs, high fat, high protein just trying to find one that works with my menopausal body.

So seven days ago I embarked on a new type of diet one which personalises my macros and I can eat anything I want as long as they fit inside those macros. Right now I’m loving it, but I’m sure it’s calculating my calories is far too high because there is no way I’m able to eat all those calories I feel really fat 🤪

But the evidence is clear after seven days 3.6lbs down, my skin looks a lot healthier, I don’t have as much bloatedness which was a big issue for me, my bowels seem to be a lot more regular, and I don’t have as much brain fog and not as tired as I was before.

Of course there are a few lifestyle changes I made along with my diet. Going to keep on this for the next seven days and let you know how I’m doing.

If you have tried different things for the menopause let me know what’s working for you.

Do You Want To Lose Weight Fast?

If you are looking for feedback, tips and advice on how to lose weight fast, sorry to have disappoint you. Here’s the thing…

Most of the people I have spoken to would love to drop a14lbs or 6kg  in a month, or a dress size in a couple of weeks.  The harsh reality is that will not happen in such a short time span if your mindset and expectations are not set correctly.

Let’s get real, how many restuarant meals, or take outs did it take for you to get into your current state of being?  How long in a period of time do you imagine you put these pounds on? When was the last time you worked up a sweat? When you get into a mood is the first thing you reach for food?

Then there is the realisation period….

You know,  that moment when the dress you normally wear feels too tight, wont zip up,  rides up, is too tight across the bust, bulges are showing in all the wrong places.

Then the frustration of going on a crash diet, only for the diet to end up in a crash where no pounds are lost and more frustration as you gain weight instead of losing it.

Losing weight should be seen as part of daily living, when you make a decision to eat healthy and have a more energetic and mindful lifestyle.

You see, if you do not learn how to eat healthy, what healthy options to choose, what unhealthy foods to swap out or remove from your current way of eating, then you will struggle with achieving your weightloss goals.

Albert Einstein says ‘You cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that created it’

Similarly you cannot lose weight with the same foods that helped you put the weight on….

So where do you begin?

Start with looking honestly at your food groups. 

Are you eating enough fruits, vegetables?

Are you getting enough fibre?

Are you eating healthy fats?

Drinking enough water – soda and fizzy drinks and juices do not count.

Knowing what your metabolic base rate is will also help you to know how much exercise and calories you need to eat and expell on a daily basis.

Your MBR or Metabolic Base Rate is the number of calories your body needs to function on a day to day basis.  Your body needs energy to pump blood to the heart, to digest food, to move and so on.

Putting an exercise regime in place for a minimum of 3 days a week of 45 minutes will also help to improve circulation, mental wellbeing, physical wellbeing and more importantly burn fat.

Inches are more important than the scales when it comes to weightloss.  Looking and feeling good in your clothes is a major confidence booster.  The scales are secondary.  My advice is whilst it is important to know where you are starting from on the scales,  measuring yourself every other week is far more productive and encouraging that jumping on the scales and finding you have put on pounds instead of losing them. 

If you are on the right diet, you will gain muscle at the same time as losing fat.  Lean muscle burns fat and is much heavier an

Keep Calm and say I CAN DO IT

yway.  More on this point in a later blog post.

Knowing how many calories to eat on a daily basis is a good start to helping you to reduce your weight in a healthy way. Click here for a great calorie counter that also explains how it should be used.

There are many healthy eating meal plans and sites available online, find one that suites your taste buds.  Just google it.

I hope this has reset your expectations and will help put you on track to losing weight the healthy way.  If weight is lost over time, it is less likely to return in abundance.  Where you lose weight quickly, there is more likelyhood for you to gain weight and some! Why? because you did not learn how to eat healthy, exercise and sustain that way of living.

Remember if you approach your weightloss as a lifestyle change, it should be seen as a more permanent, ongoing way of life, rather than a temporary fix for an event, or occassion.

If you have found the information useful, please comment on the post below.